Mother…….

‘It has been 7 years of your marriage. When are we going to get good news from you?’, said Sarita to her daughter in law Suman. Sarita’s son Raju was head over heels in love with Suman. Suman and Raju grew up together. However, Suman never had any feelings for Raju. Suman was a carefree girl. She was born in a very poor family. Her father had left this world when Suman was a toddler. Her mother then took resort to alcohol and left her children to fend for themselves. Suman’s maternal grandmother Nanda, found a home for Suman. Suman’s grandma Nanda and her husband Jagan worked as caretakers in a huge school. In that school itself, there was a kind teacher named Naina. When Nanda told Naina about little Suman, Naina readily agreed to keep Suman with her. The day Suman went to Naina’s place, Suman did not know whether she would like that place or not. Well, Suman started loving it. However, there was one thing which Suman did not like about Naina. Well what was it? Naina enrolled Suman at a school nearby. Well, Suman did not like that at all. Naina and Naina’s daughter Natasha tried to make Suman understand about the importance of education but Suman was adamant she won’t go to school. One fine day Suman went back to her grandma Nanda and cried and cried and cried till Nanda said, ‘Okay fine! You don’t have to go to school.’ So Suman stayed back with her grandmother but she missed Naina and Natasha. Suman would borrow her grandfather’s bicycle and would go to meet Naina and Natasha occasionally. Natasha would be furious seeing Suman loitering around and wasting time instead of going to school. However, no matter what, Suman would not go to school.

Years went by and Suman grew up to be an independent girl. She would take her own decisions. She worked as a part time house help. She was happy. However, she started getting worried about her marriage. She would day dream about a prince charming who would fall in love with her and take her with him to a beautiful place away from worries and pain. One fine day, she met Vipin, a charming boy and a heartthrob of many in that locality. She fell in love with Vipin the moment she saw him. And as for Vipin, he did not have any girl friend at that point. So he was very happy to get Suman as a girl friend. After dating for three years when Suman asked Vipin to marry her, Vipin bluntly said that he can’t marry her because his family would never accept her. After all she came from a broken family. Her dad was long gone, her mom had fled somewhere. How can he marry her? Heartbroken Suman decided she would never get married. But then, Raju wanted to marry her. He would follow her, gift her little things like hair clips or nail paint bottles or even flowers and would propose her almost every day. Suman somehow felt she should marry Raju. Raju’s family was also against this marriage. Reason? Well, it’s the same. Suman came from a broken family. But Raju was determined. He would marry Suman and no one else.

One fine day Raju eloped with Suman and they got married in a temple in the presence of some common friends. And then problems started brewing up. Raju’s mom was very upset with Raju. She detested Suman. Suman on the other hand tried her best to adjust, but then Suman was short tempered. She would try and tell herself to be calm, but sometimes she would lose her cool and would bring the roof down with her yelling if her mother in law nagged her.

Suman was an ardent devotee of God. She had a crystal clear conscience and a heart full of love and compassion. She had very little of her own. But no matter what, if someone needed something and she had that specific thing with her, she would give it to the person who needed it more than her. She was such a soul that one day when she saw an old man shivering in cold, she gave him the only sweater she had. That’s Suman’s nature. The only flaw she had was her short temper. If she was in a fit of rage, people end up bearing the brunt of her acid tongue. However, later she would regret and would feel miserable. Nonetheless, this continued. She was kind as ever but she would spit venom the moment she was angry.

Suman wanted to become a mother. However, she had some health issues because of which she was unable to conceive. She prayed day and night for some miracle. Sarita, Suman’s mother in law was after Suman’s life. Sarita wanted a grand child at any cost. Suman would shed silent tears praying for a child. Well prayers do work and miracles do happen. Suman finally conceived.

Now, Suman’s pregnancy was extremely complicated. She had a lot of hormonal issues, right from thyroid hormone imbalance to prolactin and so on. There were some problems in the uterus as well. The doctor had advised her to think again because this pregnancy could pose a threat to Suman’s life. But Suman was firm in her decision. She needed this baby. Suman and Raju barely had enough money to make ends meet. Regular health check up for Suman was not easy for them. However they tried to arrange some amount of money somehow for ultrasound and few other tests. The problem was, whatever money they arranged would never suffice for everything. In the midst of all these, the corona virus pandemic broke down. Raju used to work as an assistant to a carpenter. Because of the pandemic all shops were shut down. Raju and Suman struggled to manage things. Whatever money they had, they used that money to buy food. Suman’s hormone medicines stopped because there was no way they could afford those medicines.

Months went by and suddenly one day, Suman felt dizzy and her stomach started hurting. Raju called a nurse staying nearby. She checked Suman’s blood pressure. It was shooting higher and higher. The nurse told Raju, ‘You have to take Suman to the nearest hospital, or else, there could be dangerous complications.’ Raju did not have a penny in hand. The nearest hospital was 3 hours away from their home. There were no public means of communication at that time because of the lock down. They would have to arrange a private vehicle. Suman was already stressed. If she took more stress her condition might get worse. Suddenly she remembered Naina teacher and her daughter Natasha. Suman told Raju, ‘Call Natasha Didi.’ Raju replied, ‘Are you sure?’ Suman said, ‘Yes! Call her. Tell her all about me. I know she will help.’ Raju called Natasha and told her all about Suman. And Suman was right. In no time Natasha’s husband and Natasha’s brother transferred some amount of money at Raju’s account. That helped Raju in arranging a vehicle and Raju took Suman to the hospital.

It was a huge and crowded hospital. Raju had no clue what to do. Suman was already in pain. At this point, the only resort for her was her God. She said a silent prayer and surrendered all her worries to her Almighty. It was scorching hot. Raju completed the formalities and admitted Suman. Natasha’s brother was a doctor and some of his batchmates worked in that hospital. Thanks to them, Suman got attention and she was taken to the labor room. The room had only bed left. Fortunately Suman got that. Some women in the other beds kept on groaning with pain. The nurses and the doctors were very good but they were immensely busy all the time because there were innumerable patients. Although they tried their best to provide the best services, yet, humanly, it was impossible to attend to so many patients without some hiccups. Suman’s pain increased and she wailed in pain. The doctor rushed to her. Her blood pressure was way too high. The doctor called Raju and told him about the tests that had to be conducted before they could take Suman to the OT for an emergency C-section delivery. The doctor also said that the pregnancy was highly complicated. There could be some difficult decisions which Raju may have to take. As in, in between mommy and the baby, if only one could be saved, who would it be. Raju signed a form and requested the staff to save Suman no matter what. The hours seemed to have stopped for Raju. He sat outside on the stairs dejected. He wanted to see his baby and his wife safe. But he did not know what news awaited him.

After some hours, one of the nurses came and told Raju that Suman delivered a baby girl and both mommy and baby were doing well. Raju could not stop smiling. He thanked God and waited for permission from the doctors to see Suman and his daughter. Since the baby was born prematurely, she was taken to the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit(NICU).

After the affect of anesthesia faded, Suman was in grueling pain with the stitches. She tried to get some rest. A nurse from NICU came and told Suman that in some time Suman had to come and feed the baby. It was difficult for Suman. Her entire body was paining. The stitches were hurting. But her baby was hungry, so she had to go and feed her. She clutched her tummy and said, ‘Oh dear Almighty, help me.’ She wanted to cry but then she had to be strong. She walked to the NICU. The NICU was located on the first floor and Suman’s room was on the ground floor. Being an old hospital, this building did not have elevators. Suman held the railing and somehow went up the stairs. Once Suman reached the NICU, with proper sanitizing measures, the baby was handed over to Suman by a nurse. Suman tried to feed the baby but at that point Suman was not lactating much. The baby kept on crying. Suman was crestfallen. The nurse in the NICU said, ‘Sometimes it takes time for breastmilk to form. You have to continue feeding your baby. Once milk starts forming, things will be better.’ The baby kept on crying. Suman did not know what to do. The nurse went away and Suman stayed there with the baby. The baby tried to suck and Suman sat there hoping whatever milk the baby got would be enough to satiate the baby’s hunger. Suman closed her eyes and prayed. A cleaning lady was busy mopping the floor. She saw Suman engrossed in her prayers while the baby tried to get some milk. When Suman opened her eyes, the cleaning lady smiled and said, ‘Your baby is adorable.’ Suman smiled at her and said, ‘Thank you!’ After sometime the nurse came and said, ‘If you are done nursing the baby, I will take her back to the crib. You have to come again in sometime to feed her.’

Suman was somewhat happy that, though very less, at least she was lactating somewhat. Some mommies in the room were not able to feed their babies at all. After sometime, Suman was about to go to the NICU to feed her daughter again when Suman saw a gentleman standing outside the room with a bowl in his hand and crying, ‘Please, someone help me with some milk. My wife is in a critical condition and my daughter is hungry. Please help me with some milk.’ Suman’s heart went out to that man. He seemed poor. And there was no way he could afford formula for his child. Pumping milk was also hard because there were no breast pumps for that. Suman thought about her own child. She would also be hungry. If Suman tried and squeezed some breast milk for that gentleman’s child, what would her daughter have? As it is, Suman had a heart of gold. She walked up to the gentleman and said, ‘Take me to your child. I will feed her.’ The man was overjoyed. His child was kept in a different unit. Clutching her tummy, Suman walked with the gentleman. The gentleman got the baby and gave it to Suman. The baby was crying out loud. Suman held the baby gently and started feeding her. The baby immediately stopped crying. With tears in his eyes, the gentleman knelt down and thanked Suman profusely. The gentleman then left. While Suman fed the baby, a cleaning lady came and said, ‘You are a beautiful person.’ Suman looked at the lady and asked, ‘Did I see you yesterday at the NICU? You were wearing a mask then and even now you are wearing a mask, but I could recognize you by your eyes. They are so bright and beautiful.’ While mopping the floor with the mop stick, the lady replied, ‘Thank you! Yes, I am the one you saw yesterday.’ Suman asked eagerly, ‘Did you get a chance to see my daughter? Is she crying?’ The lady smiled and said, ‘I just saw her sometime ago. She is fine. Sleeping now. Don’t worry. She is in good hands and is getting full care.’ Suman was relieved. She told the lady, ‘Thank you so much. What is your name?’ The lady replied, ‘Gauri.’ Suman said, ‘My name is…..’ The lady immediately said, ‘Suman. I know that.’ Suman said, ‘Have you been working here for long?’ The lady said nonchalantly, ‘Yes. For years and years now. In fact I stay here. I live in a beautiful red colored house, right across this building.’ Suman nodded and said, ‘That’s nice.’ Just then the father of the baby whom Suman was feeding came. The cleaning lady continued her work. The little girl in Suman’s lap was fast asleep. The baby was satisfied. The baby’s dad thanked Suman profusely and took his little girl with him.

Suman then went back to the NICU to feed her own daughter. The nurse there smiled and said, ‘Your daughter is fast asleep and she is absolutely fine. You can go and see her, but don’t disturb her. Let her sleep.’ Suman said, ‘But she must be hungry.’ The nurse replied, ‘Not at all. Your relative had come and nursed your baby till your baby’s heart’s content. Your baby was so satisfied that she stopped crying and fell asleep.’ Suman asked surprised, ‘My relative? I don’t have any relative here.’ The nurse asked confused, ‘Then who is Gauri?’ Suman was perplexed. She said, ‘You mean the cleaning lady Gauri? The one with beautiful eyes? The one who was here when I had come to feed my daughter some time ago?’ The nurse replied, ‘Cleaning lady? There is no one named Gauri in the housekeeping staff here. And when you had come here, it was just me and two other nurses. There was no cleaning lady here.’ Suman asked, ‘Are you sure? She was talking to me some time ago.’ The nurse replied, ‘Of course I am sure. I have been working here for ages now. There is no one called Gauri here.’ Suman was baffled. She went back to the nursery where she had nursed the little girl. The father was outside. Suman asked him, ‘Sir, did you see the cleaning lady who was standing beside us when I was feeding your child?’ The gentleman replied, ‘Cleaning lady? There was no one there besides us. I did not see anyone else.’

Suman thought again. She remembered very well what the cleaning lady had said. She had said that she had been working here for years and that she lived in a red colored house across the street. Suman walked across the street and looked around. Apart from different buildings pertaining to various departments of the hospital, she could not see any red house. Suddenly she saw something. It was red and it was tiny and it was beautiful. It was right in front of the department of medicine. Suman froze. It was a beautiful tiny temple of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati. Suman stared at the idols there for a while. The eyes of the idol of Goddess Parvati resembled the eyes of ‘Gauri’ the cleaning lady. Suman was stunned. She joined her hands and said with tears in her eyes, ‘You have always been with me but I never thought you would come to meet me dear Mother Gauri. I love you. Thank you for everything!’

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